The Chickens

A few nights ago I was lying in bed, all warm and wrapped up like a  burrito as I was looking at all the things I wish I could afford on Pinterest. I was pinning my little heart away (clothes, furniture, food…you know everything) when suddenly I came down with the sleepy sleeps. I turned Lappy the Laptop off, got even more snuggly in bed and my eyes were wide open. It was like my brain just said, “SIKE! Just playing, I only wanted to make you think you were sleepy, suckah!” So there I was, wide awake, blankets (I sleep with a lot of blankets) wrapped around me and me laying there hating the world because now I was wide awake.

It was at the moment I got a text message from “Chris” saying since he was in town he was probably going to go to the Casino because he had won money earlier that day at a different casino. I decided that since I was wide awake to go ahead and invite myself, even though that meant I had to crawl out of my warm bed and put on some pants and a bra. (You’re welcome).

I’m not much of a gambler or casino patron. I have a set budget and leave my debit card in the car so I won’t be tempted to empty my already low bank account but that night I decided to be a big spender and showed up with $100 in my pocket. A little evidence that I’m not much of a casino patron, as we walked in I promptly handed my ID to the security person chatting with another employee. Security guy looked at me funny then my ID and handed it back all the while “Chris” laughed at me. Did I mention it was about 2 A.M.???

Anywho, so “Chris” shows me a few of the machines he likes to play, after he spilled soda all over his hand, and then brings me to The Chickens. This is a slot machine type of game where you want to three chickens. Three chickens equals 10 bonus turns for 3x the amount of the bet. And for a while there I was doing pretty well. I kept getting chickens and winning and winning. It. Was.AHMAZHING. And then something happened and those bastard ass bastard chickens TURNED AGAINST ME. Suddenly, I wasn’t getting all the corn and chickens and just kept losing money, $2 at a time.

          

                                                                           

“Chris” was bored of me making sad faces at the machine and decided we should try out some of the other games he likes to play. Apparently, I’m lucky for other people because mister was racking it up. We decided (well, I hinted and whined) that we should play The Chickens again. Those feathered assholes were still being rude and taking all my money. I shook my fists angrily at them and it was then “Chris” decided we should leave, after many of his broken promises of “this is the last game, I swear.”

Then we played the Michael Jackson game and left.