Traveling Shenanigans

Well, I’m in DC and have decided to bring Lappy the Laptop with me. I’m not sure if it’s the reason I haven’t been sleeping much or not because after a year hiatus of Doctor Who I’ve been in obsessive mode. I took a break from the Doctor mostly because I knew the end of the Tenth Doctor was coming and I just wasn’t ready to say good-bye and was giving the Eleventh Doctor shady eyes. Apparently, I have a problem when it comes to fictional change.

So, while I was in the Dallas airport I had about an hour to kill before my flight started to board and since Lappy with was me I typed in some notes. Before I post some of them I just want to let you know that I had been awake for 24 hours and was really tired and had the tummy cramps from a sketchy southern chicken biscuit thing from the McDonalds in Bowie.

-I’m cranky and I hate everything

-I hate how people drive in Dallas. First, I’m going to cut you off, then I’m going to drive really slow in front of you and then be completely confused when you speed up next to me and flip me the bird.

-I hate slow people, especially when I have to pee.

-Forgot my neck pillow and iPod in the car. WHY DOES EVERYTHING SUCK ASS?

-One kid is about to flip out because her brother got two granola bars. What kid gets upset about not getting enough granola bars?

-Her brother keeps peeking over my shoulder at what I’m typing. Maybe I’ll start typing a story about a nosey little kid and how he was forever doomed on the Skylink.

-Nosey kid and his sister are loud and annoying. I wonder if the gift shop sells Nyquil and candy.

-Dear God, please let these kids sit on the opposite side of the plane. (God decided to be rude and sat them behind me).

-Once upon a time there was a beautiful and witty woman sitting in an airport terminal. As she was typing on her laptop this bratty and incredibly nosey kid tried to read what she was typing. Screw this, I’m too tired for this story.  

Ok, so after copying and pasting these little snip its of sitting at the terminal I remembered two stories I was going to share. The first one was when I finally got to the airport and jumped out of my car while quickly grabbing my things because I had to pee. I’ve had to pee for about 45 minutes and didn’t realize I parked in the wrong section. Black Betty is currently hanging out in American Airlines A something something and my flight was out of D whatever. As I walked into the airport I was desperately searching for a bathroom and when I couldn’t find one I figured I would just check my bag in and then look for one. Instead, after I paid the outrageous fee to check a damn bag in I automatically made my way to the security gate. It went pretty quickly until the whiney baby (aka grown woman) didn’t know how to use the full body scanner. There I stood, trying to hold everything in while trying to subtly do the pee pee dance and she was inside the scanner, “Oh my god I don’t know how to do this!” Daggers flew out of my eyes while the security guard told her to stand like the picture in front of her. Still didn’t get it. “You want me to do what?” I WANT YOU HURRY THE FRACK UP SO I CAN PEE!

The second story involves the girl having a fit over granola bars. That should have been a sign yet I ignored it. I was so exhausted that I fell asleep before the plane even took off. I remember looking out the window while the granola loving 4 year old behind me exclaimed she can see her suitcase. Liar, that luggage cart for the plane on the other side of us. When I woke up, not only was I disappointed that I missed my free orange juice but the 4 year old was still telling lies. We were descending and she kept telling her parental figure that she could see her house. As people were collecting their bags and coats her dad told her that since it was a little busy he was going to carry the suitcase but once they got off the plane she could drag it. Well, apparently mom didn’t get that memo. As I was walking to find MY parental figures I could hear the little granola monster shriek, “But dad said I COULD DO IT!” I’m pretty sure her eyes turned red and little horns popped out of her forehead.

I’m hoping my trip back home will be nice and calm.