Be Back Soon. Maybe. We'll see. STOP SMOTHERING ME.

My dearest ladies and germs,

I will be on vacay for the next few days and I'm still in debates about taking Lappy the Laptop with me so it's a sliiiiiiiiiiight possibility that I may not post anything until I get back. I just hate lugging that big laptop with me because when I go through security it has to be put in its own little container while it goes through the x-ray machine and I'm always paranoid someone's going to snatch it up while I'm trying to put my shoes back on. Then I have to do that awkward run to the gate with one shoe one, the other in my hand, jacket on my arm, bag flinging in the air and while screaming "NOT MY LAPPY!" Plus, there's that whole walking down the tiny aisle in the plane and "accidently" hitting the rich jerks in business class with my messenger bag while they give me that, "oh look at the poor girl walking to coach" look as they adjust their monocles and top hats. I hate them.

I could also post updates via my iphone but I don't even like typing long text messages, let alone a blog post on my phone. If you think my writing skills suck here just wait until I send you a long text about nothing relevant. Auto correct likes to make it look like a drunk monkey snatched my phone and started texting you. It's really awkward because I told that monkey that he has a problem and should check out an AA meeting but he won't listen to me.

I'm also a tiny bit of a nervous flyer. You wouldn't think so considering how much traveling I do between here and DC but for the first twenty minutes of the flight the voice in my head is saying "What was that sound? Did something fall off? Is that a woman churning butter on the wing? OH MY GOD WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Basically, it's that scene from Bridesmaid when Kristen Wig flips out and is being chased by the air marshall, except it's happening in my head. Then we get the all clear to use electronic divices and I put on my ipod and fall asleep in that awkward broken neck position.

So, basically what I'm trying to tell you, my lovely readers, I'm going on vacay and I may or may not post on here. We'll see. "Sean" really isn't helping me decide if I should bring Lappy or not.

**Edit

After "Sean" read this he decided to help me decide. He said, "If you want to take your laptop, then take your laptop." THAT'S NOT HELPING.
He also said, "I don't have that problem because I have an Ipad AND it has a keyboard." Let's all glare at him for a few minutes.