Cheaters, Part Two

The boys and I have decided this is the year we’re going to become skinny bitches lose the weight. First, it was just “Sean,” “Chris” and I and our sweeping declaration to never let the crumbs of fast food touch our lips. We gave each other the shady eye while we secretly placed bets on who would cave first. A certain someone, *COUGHSEANCOUGH* even went as far as to taunt me and said I would be the first to cave.

Oh how the mighty have fallen. I was preparing for work one glorious afternoon, when “Sean” casually came strolling in with a Taco Bell bag. From that point on I felt that it was my mission in life to point out every time he came to work with fast food that I was not the one who caved. It eventually got the point where he felt I was border line harassing him and he dropped out of the no fast food ban.

We then decided to implement our money jar plan. Each week we put $5 into a jar and at the end of the month whoever loses the most weight wins the money. A fellow friend overheard these plans and decided to join in.

Everyone, I would like you all to welcome “Mauricio” to the blog.

*Golf clap, golf clap*

So week one went pretty well and then the weekend came. “Chris” and I made secret plans to order from Panda House (I told you that was going to happen…) on a day when the other two would not be working. And let me tell you, that fried rice and egg roll were totally amazing. I also got a second eggroll but that was used as bribery to make sure mom kept her pretty, little mouth shut about our indiscretion.  

Monday afternoon came around and we all gave each other the guilty looks. “Sean” started the confessions by admitting he didn’t think he had lost any weight because he cheated. I then felt compelled to admit that “Chris” and I had cheated over the weekend as well. And wouldn’t you know it, “Mauricio” cheated too! We’re all just a bunch of cheaters.

The Cheater

So, before this story begins we have to agree (again) to not spill the beans about the location of where this story took place. Did we all pinky promise? Make sure you didn’t cross any of your fingers (and don’t pull that elementary school crap where you cross your feet or legs). Also, I have it on good authority some of you didn’t even make the promise. Fail.

Anywho, this story takes place at the some undisclosed location as the previous story, so shut your pie hole if you know where it is. Several of us decided since it would be a slow night to play some games (also shoot each other with Nerf Guns, don’t worry guys I wore eye protection…I’M FINE BY THE WAY). One game that made the cut was called Headbands. Players wear a headband (that’s where the name came from in case you didn't know) with a card on it. The player then has to ask yes or no questions in order to figure out what word is on their card. When you guess correctly you toss away one of your chips and the player at the end of game without chips is the winner. For the record, none of were winners.

This is where The Cheater steps in. To be fair we don’t think “Sheniqua” was intentionally cheating. The first incident occurred when she wanted to take a picture of herself and show everyone on Twitter how adorable she looked with this card stuck on her forehead. It wasn’t until after the picture was taken and “Chris” and “Chanel Pearl” gave her the shifty eyes that “Sheniqua” realized she read her card.

The second incident occurred when she went downstairs to pick up the food her family dropped off (and I had to snack on left over vegetables and crackers left from the previous group of people *sad eyes at mom*). Her nephew, who is learning how to read, attempted to sound out the word on her card but her sister is the one who spouted out PICKLE! The next few cheating incidents occurred when “Sheniqua” went to the bathroom and read her card in the mirror as she washed her hands and when the card “fell off” as she bent over to plug in her phone charger. Yeah, we didn’t buy it either.

She also had this habit of hinting to other players what their card said. Case in point, mine said Walt Disney and “Sheniqua” offered such gems like, “My son would know him!” and “He’s really old and cartoons!” Let’s just ignore that with the help of “Chris” humming the theme to Sleeping Beauty I still couldn’t figure out what my card said.

“Sheniqua” is no longer allowed to play games.

Happy Thanksgiving from "Chris" and Autocorrect