The Craigslist Experiment

I’m not sure about you guys but sometimes when I’m bored I like to peruse the almighty Craigslist. My absolute favorite section is Missed Connections. This is the section where someone makes two second eye contact with someone else and then wishes they had the courage to have said Hi! Usually it’s something along the lines of “Oh my gosh! I totally saw you at red light and you were like in a red Camaro and I was like all smiley and stuff. I totally saw our future together when you made eye contact with me and then the light turned green and you zoomed out of my life! E-mail me and tell me what color the dream catcher hanging off my mirror was!” Sometimes they attach a picture of themselves, other times it’s just a crap ton of smiley faces.

Curiosity got the best of me and I decided to post to a fake missed connection ad on Craigslist. Just to see what kind of responses, and although it’s only been two days I’m incredibly surprised that I have not gotten one wang picture. That’s surprise not disappointment you sickos. To really make sure I got some responses I found a picture (that I found on Google) of a random blonde chick sporting the oh so adorable duck face.

(Click on the link below to see the fake add)

 http://lawton.craigslist.org/mis/3432581035.html

As you can see, she may not be the brightest but at least she’s pretty. Ignore the random bobby pin in her hair; she was busy perfecting the subtle duck face to notice it. Let’s also ignore that she points out this mystery man was also with another woman, she still seems like a sweet heart who loves ! and smiley faces (and the occasional sad face).

So, on to our results! In a span of two days our little friend got 14 replies. Out of those 14 we got 6 replied with pictures, 9 that said he was the guy and provided a color of the flower headband (blue was the most popular color, followed by pink and red), 4 admitted they weren’t the guy but wished they were and 1 one was from out of state but was more than willing to visit. And NONE  of them acknowledged they were with another woman. Here are some memorable quotes from this little experiment.

“Hey cutie, I’m not the dude but I’m a hot dude from Colorado that can go to Wallmart.”

(That’s not a typo…that’s how he spelled Wal-mart) 

“I don’t remember the color but I remember that you can text me.”

(He then provided his phone number)

“Hey there, how r u hit me baq if u wanna chat.”

(Can I hit you back with a dictionary?)

“Blue”

(Yep, that was the whole message. Also, the answer was incorrect. The correct answer was non-existent)

“Could swear I saw u there babe not sure I’m the guy u saw but I’m better.”

(No, no you’re not. Also, I’m not much a grammar Nazi but holy Jesus, use some punctuation)

“U wanna chat?”

 

Then one guy proceeded to tell me his stats (age, weight, height) and that even though he was born with two different eye colors he can still see perfectly with them.

In conclusion, this may have been an experiment in Craigslist but considering these lovely bachelors reside in this area I think I’m going to remain single for a long time.