Yesterday I was getting ready for work when I made this horribly tragic discovery. I think I’m still in a wee bit shock over it and since I’m not one of the Glee kids I can’t dance and sing about it. So instead, I’ll present you with a limerick I wrote for this very occasion.
There was a pretty young girl name Rose
Who was styling her hair in corn rows
When she had a sudden fright
As she saw a single strand of white
And she shouted, “Aw, hell no!”
Guys, it’s not even a grey hair, it’s white! It skipped the whole grey process and just went straight for white. Before you give me the lecture about the whole aging gracefully and it’s just a matter of time, no. I’m not old enough to have WHITE hair! Here’s a list of things that I’m old enough for:
Rent a car
Drink booze
Vote (and not American Idol voting, I mean legit presidential stuff voting)
Smoke ciggies
Fight for my country (but since I’m not a dude I don’t have to worry about the whole being drafted thing)
Get tattoos
Go to R rated movies
Drink booze at R rated movies
Get married
Get divorced
Be convicted as an adult
Adopt a kid
Buy a hand gun
Buy lotto tickets
Pawn stuff at a pawn store
But here is a list of things that I shouldn’t do at the age of 27:
Freak out over a white hair on my head
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I could dye my hair and be done with it. First of all, that’s not the damn point. No matter how much I dye my hair that evil white hair will still be there, mocking me and calling me an old hag even when I know for damn sure I’m not. Second of all, I kind of can’t dye my hair at the current moment. A few months ago I discovered this color stripping product at WalMart and since I was in the mood to go from dark brown to bright red I figured I would give it a shot. Also, I’m kind of addicted to dying my hair. What? I get bored and dye my hair. I don’t like the current color so I change it.
The color stripping stuff smells like a couple of old eggs that were sitting in a jar of perm solution out in the sun on a hot, summer day. In short, it stinks. However, it did bring my hair from a dark brown to blonde/orange clown hair color. The box claims the stuff is less harmful than bleaching but I’m starting to wonder how true that is considering my hair hasn’t been able to hold a color since. I would dye it and the color would fade within a week. I would try again and get the same results. It ended when mom told me to give the hair dying a rest so my poor strands can recover and I have about a month to go before I can fix this mess and get rid of the demon white strand.
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| No, No white hair! This is a picture a friend photoshopped of me as Grumpy cat. In my defense, I'm not super stoked about this whole winter weather in the spring time. |
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| Exactly. |
