About two years ago I was home with a cold and there was
nothing on TV. Well, there were infomercials but there are only so many times I
can watch Alyssa Milano flip her shiny hair before I whip my debit card out and
buy expensive shampoo I don’t need. I perused the list of shows on Netflix and
came across Glee. I had never heard of it but it had Jane Lynch in it and that
was good enough for me.
When I was done with season 1 I began hunting and digging
through the interwebs for a place to watch season 2. By the end of the day I
was completely hooked and disappointed that I now had to wait a week like
everyone else for new episodes. In case you live under rock, Glee is a show
about a high school show choir. Except it’s totally not like the show choir
from your high school and the story lines are like what happened when you went
to high school but on steroids. However, I like the songs, the jokes are funny
and I want to learn the dance routines. Think about it, your hanging out with
some new friends and one is all, “Oh, I’m a doctor and I know how to save
lives.” And then you dramatically jump on the table, music playing in your head
while you exclaim, “I CAN DANCE LIKE THE KIDS FROM GLEE, BITCH!”
There’s only one problem with the show and her name is
Rachel Berry. Just to clarify, I have nothing against the actress that plays
her. She has an amazing voice, shiny hair and is probably really nice but that
Rachel…RACHEL CRY BABY BERRY! She cries in EVERY episode and it’s always
because she didn’t get the solo or because Finn won’t break up with Quinn or
because someone made fun of her granny sweater. She’s kind of like that yippy
little chihuahua that barks and barks and barks until someone pets it. The
story line has always been centered around the whole Finchel crap. Will they
get together? Will she find out she makes me want to rip out the wings of a
butterfly?
About half way through season 3 I figured it’s ok, she’ll
graduate soon, go off to the fancy performing art school in NYC and we’ll be
done with her. Well, she may have an occasional guest spot but that’ll be ok.
Then they announced we would be following her to college. Son. Of. A Bitch. It
was then that I decided I was done with Glee. Sure I’d miss the adorable couple
that was Kurt and Blaine, crushing on Mike and the crazy shit that came out of
Britney’s mouth but following Rachel Ruiner I Cry at Everything Berry was too
much. I was done and would never look back.
And then “Chris” started talking about Glee. It started
with, “Hey, did you watch Glee last night?” I would go into my rant of how
Rachel Berry is the ruiner of everything that is good and right in this world.
Then he would casually mention what one of the characters did or Rachel
Destroyer of Good Things Berry had a pregnasty scare. Then he sent me a clip
from the latest episode where Finn and Shue did a boy band feud dance off. It.
Was. AWESOME! In a matter of two days I have completely caught up on the
seasons I’ve missed. I may be sucked back into Glee (come on, Kate Hudson being
a massive C U Next Tuesday is hilarious!) but Rachel Berry still fuels my hate
fire.
I would LOVE to learn the routine with the ropes...now if only I could dance ...and sing.
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