Shut Your Trap

I’m not the quietest (or graceful) person on the planet. I’m sure it has something to do with the time my little brother was born and he sucked all the attention away from me. Oh look at the cute baby wearing his lederhosen! Aw, the cute little baby says he wants to be an arteeest when he grows up! Look at the sweet little baby with that really angry looking little girl. You may be thinking that I’m joking when I said I looked angry but trust me there’s evidence.

Over the holidays my brother and I decided a fun Christmas gift for our mom would be a photo recreate. You take a picture from your childhood and, well, you recreate it. As we combed through a billion family albums we noticed that every single picture of brother was him smiling and looking happy. Every single picture of me I was sulking, glaring or just generally being unhappy. I don’t mean like one or two, I mean every. Single. One. Out of a billion photo albums. We eventually found one where I had a smile on my face. I would show you the pictures of me glaring but I would rather not. Mostly because I’ll have to go digging in those albums again which will then cause me to send mass text messages to my brother of all the pictures that make me laugh. Like the one that looks like my dad is trying to drown baby brother in a tub while baby brother has a huge smile on his face.  

Well, it appears I’ve gotten a little off topic. I’m just trying to lay the ground work to let you know I’m not very quiet when I talk. Usually, when I’m conversating with my dear mother she has to tell me to quiet down. I can’t help it, I’m still fighting for the attention my brother savagely took from me in my youth. So, back to the story.

Today, I had to take an exam at the computer lab on campus. This was for one of my online classes and it’s still baffling me that a test that is open notes/open book had to be proctored on campus. I mean the purpose of these online classes is so I can sit at home, in my rubber duckie jamies and do my assignments/ tests in bed. So I get to campus and I’m sitting in the computer lab and waiting on the computer lab assistant to come back and enter some super secret squirrel password so I can take my exam. I look around and notice about 4 or 5 other people quietly taking their exams. All the while in my head I’m thinking, “Ha! Suckers, my teacher is letting me use my book.” I start my test and question one already makes me feel dumb. I pick up my book and that’s when it happens. It was like this LOUD but really slow motion turn of events.

The book jumps out of my hands. Yes, you read that correctly. It jumped out of my hands and I swear I heard a tiny voice yell “FREEEEEEEDOM!” before it hit the keyboard, bounced off the desk and then landed on the floor with an incrediably loud THUD, which was followed by a really tiny, “ow.” Every single person in that tiny room stopped working on their exams and turned to stare/glare at me.

Not akward at all.





Me and baby brother now. I guess he can stay.



Just tilt your head to the right because I'm computer stupid and can't get this to rotate.
Also, I have no idea why I have a cane. No one does. I 've asked.
Not sure why baby brother looks like a thug either.