Web MD Said So

Sometimes when I’m not feeling well I Google my symptoms just to see how much longer I have to live. I’ve been told by “Chris” and “Sean” that I’m now banned from Wed MD and any such Googling. Apparently, I get overly dramatic and assume the worst is happening.



 Example 1

A few months ago I had a really bad migraine. I RARELY get migraines. So rare that the last one I had was over 10 years ago. Weeks after the migraine I felt extremely tired, had no motivation to do anything and just wanted to sleep my days away. After taking to Google and Web MD, it was determined that sometimes after a migraine something called a “migraine hangover” occurs. Basically, you just feel hung over but that usually only lasts a few days to a week and I had been feeling sluggish for several weeks. Web MD also said that it could be some type of brain tumor or cancer. That seemed more logical to me.

“Chris” kept telling me to go see a doctor and “Sean” would just roll his eyes when I mentioned that I was probably dying. I eventually found a doctor who said because of my busy schedule it was probably my bodies way of saying, check yo self before you wreck yo self. He also drew blood to make sure there wasn’t anything more serious going on. Turns out my B-12 was really low, which is what also made me zombie like and tired.

Example 2

This one was recent. So recent that it was this weekend. I didn’t realize that I had slept in an awkward position a few nights ago and spent the following day wondering why it felt like I was being stabbed under my shoulder blade every time I moved or inhaled. There were several people that asked the same question on Google and the main response was, “you slept wrong, dummy.” Did I come to that conclusion and move on? Nope. Instead, I found one response from the Mayo Clinic that stated I could have had a mild heart attack.

Here are some of the symptoms:

• Shortness of breath (Nope, just regular breathing)
• Nausea (Nope, well there’s a certain someone at work that makes me feel that way but that’s a story for another day)
• Sweating (Well, it was really warm at work one day but for some reason I kept my hoodie on so that fault is mine)
• Fainting (Only after I swoon over certain male celebrities)
• Pain the jaw, throat, shoulder, or neck (SHOULDER! I HAVE PAIN IN MY SHOULDER! I’M DYING!)

Therefore, without a medical degree I can logically conclude, I had a mild heart attack. Ok, maybe I didn’t. Instead, I took a hot bath, some Tylenol and stopped sleeping like a crazy person. The stabbing feeling is now down to a mild, lazily attempt at mugging me feeling.

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