It's the Most Cranky Time of the Year

It’s that time of year again. If you know anyone that’s a practicing Catholic then you know what I’m talking about. I’m not really that religious, the last time I went to mass was probably when I was 12, however once a year I feel the obligation to give something up for Lent. I used to be a jerk about it and gave up something I didn’t really care for, thus making the following 40 days a breeze. One year I mentioned my genius plan to a fellow (and incredibly devout) Catholic who in turn lectured me on the reason for the season. Basically, I’m suppose to give up something that I really, really enjoy because the almighty Jesus gave up his life for me, yadda yadda yadda. Just to clarify, I’m not really that religious, I believe in God and all that wonderful stuff but haven’t cracked open the bible since my almost Confirmation.

And now that song is stuck in your head and I'm like YOU JUST GOT RICK ROLLED, BITCH!

One year I gave up soda. May not seem like a big deal to anyone but this chick was OBSESSED with the bubbly, sugary goodness, especially Dr. Pepper. What do you think happened the day after I announced this to my sweet and super supportive mother? That devil woman stocked up the fridge with nothing but Dr. Pepper. She claimed it was an "accident". Accident my ass! I was the only one in the house that drank that sweet nectar from the GODS!

Last year, I gave up the sweet stuff. You guys know about my love of the store bought cakes. If not, here’s the link. Basically, if there is a baked good nearby you can bet your ass I’m standing next to it with an empty plate in my hands and frosting on my face. I was surprised when devil woman mom didn’t buy out the Little Debbie snack aisle and leave everything on the kitchen counter for me to make sad faces at as I slowly walked away, occasionally glancing over my shoulder at what could have been. Instead, when she came home from a friends BBQ or party or office potluck she would come to my room, hold the plate of goodies to my face and point out all the wonderful, delicious sweets to my face and tell me how yummy they were. And then would tell me she was going to leave them on the kitchen counter. TEMPTRESS! She's also really good at tricking me on Good Friday. Nothing like smelling steak, or chicken or some meaty German dish cooking on the stove and her casually mentioning, "Oh, dinner is ready." Only to wait until the fork has left my mouth before hearing her scream, "HA! IT'S GOOD FRIDAY AND YOU'RE EATING MEAT!"

This year, I’m back to my slacker ways. Lent snuck up on me and I couldn’t figure something to give up quick enough and mom casually mentioned I should piss everyone off by giving up baking. Guys, not only do I eat the sweet stuff, I also love to bake it. Mainly, I love to bake cupcakes because well, damnit cupcakes are adorable. About 5 minutes after I made my announcement to the world (or what everyone calls Facebook) I had the following conversation with my mom:

Me- Does it count as baking if I just take the cinnamon rolls out of the Pillsbury container and just toss them in the oven?

Mom- What do the cinnamon rolls do in the oven?

Me- Get yummy?

Mom- No, they bake.

5 minutes into Lent and already failing. Maybe I should just copy the Pope and give up my job for Lent. (BADACHA! Or was that joke too soon?)