Drunk Monkey

As you guys know, I'm not the greatest when it comes to writing. Usually my brain is too fast for my fingers and then I get all excited about posting that I just automatically hit submit without proof reading. Also, I'm a total bad ass so I don't NEED to proof read. Suck on that high school English teacher.

When it comes to texting that's just a whole different story. I'm glad that I have the friends I do because they understand me. Even when I send them a jumbled mess of letters and numbers, on occassion hoots and clicks, they some how know the crazy message I'm trying to convey. So, that's what I'm going to share with you, my dear readers, my auto-correct fails. And also some drunk texts sent by my super amazing, super drunk friend Mattie. I asked and he said he didn't want a code name. Just want to put that out there.

Without further adieu, I present the mess of Rosie texting like a drunk monkey and Mattie the amazing drunk texter!

I want to direct your attention to the message that reads "Meh brain is Luke MORNING ADDJOLE." I passed out shortly after sending that and didn't realize what I sent until I strolled into work the next day and "Chris" asked me what I meant. I read it, laughed and had to admit I had no freaking idea. After using some very pricey and lengthy decoding equipment and programs it's been determined that I meant to say "Meh, my brain is like MORNING ASSHOLE." Which makes sense. Oddly enough. Also, ignore the rest of the message, we cheated over the weekend, suck it. The eggroll was worth it.

The next set of messages are from Mattie. It was late on New Years and I spent about 3 hours giggling over the messages he sent. I love you, Mattie.

What can I say, he's super fantastic at snapping.

Sometimes it doesn't have to make sense.

There were previous messages about me convincing him to order said pizza. He said he was too drunk, I said I would order it for him, and then he used the interwebs to do it, only to lose the pizza when the guy delivered it. It's ok, the doritos were safe.

I'm the idiot in green...

This message was from a potential someone who despite me saying "Good smirking" instead of "good morning" like a normal girl with crush and making a complete ass of myself (or falling if you want to be techinical. Also for the record, there was no alchol when said incident happened) on one of our dates, still wants to see me.

So there you have it. Be thankful if I don't have your number and text you late at night sounding like a hot drunk mess, when in fact I'm completely sober.