Dreamy Frogs

Dreams can be funny. You go to sleep and your mind creates this bizarre movie and the only way to shut it off is by waking up. Most of the time you’re thestar and you can be anything from a flying super hero to running away from a crazed psycho clown wielding a chainsaw in one hand and giant man eating spider in the other. 

And sometimes you dream about falling off a cliff and do that really awkward body spasm, which if you’re anything like me you wake up and your dog looks at you like you’ve lost your damn mind.

Every now and then you might even have a dream about something that contains hidden meaning about something that’s going on during your waking life. It’s kind of like your subconscious is trying to give you the answers to a test but when you wake up you forget all the answers.

Or you just have a dream and wake up thinking, “what the fuck was that?” That happened to me the other night. I woke up and just thought to myself that maybe dream me was high on opium (cause it’s classy like that). Let’s explore my dream, shall we?

So, it starts with me at a party.

 I’m not sure why most of this is in black and white. I googled (for about two seconds because then I got bored) and found that peeps typically 60 or above tend to dream in black and white while the younger folks dream mostly in color. I guess me dreaming in black and white goes right along with my old age of 28…considering I’m forgetful, blind as a bat and like hard candies.

ANYWAY!  I’m at some shindig and everyone is hobnobbing. I have no idea who anyone is or how I got there and even though I’m standing in the middle of the room and awkwardly staring at peeps, no one notices me. Some of the people there are fancy, I mean like monocles, canes (like Malfoy’s dad in Harry Potter) and sparkly diamonds and jewels. Then there are peeps like me, dressed like they’re heading to Target because well, if they were heading to Walmart they would be in dirty wife beaters and Christmas fleece pajama bottoms.

Suddenly, a person appears in front of me. I have no idea if this is a dude or a lady but they tell me that this is a really special party. It’s special because they’re going to give me an animal and as long as I take really good care of this animal then something really good will happen to me in the near future.

What animal did I get, you ask? A super adorable sloth? Nope. An annoying Taylor Swift singing goat? No. Oh, I must have gotten a mega cute panda bear! Nope. Instead, I was presented with this little guy:

This person dramatically waves their arm towards the wall and sitting on the table are two medium sized aquariums. Each looked the same, a little bit of water, some rocks, a little plant life and a small, green and black frog. I only have to take care of the one frog because another person gets the other. 

 I go to the tank and check out my new little friend (HA). I look over to ask this person why the aquarium wasn’t covered because well, common sense would dictate that little Kermie would jump out to freedom, unfortunately, mystery he/she has disappeared into the party. So, instead I reach my hand into the tank and pull little Kermie out. Seeing as how I’m a regular person I worried about little friend jumping out of my hand so I held him a little tightly. 

After a few minutes I noticed that Kermie wasn't making any movements like he was trying to break free. Curiousity got the better of me so I decided to loosen my grip and see what would happen. He just sat there, chillin’ on the palm of my hand. 

I decided I wanted to check out the rest of the animals and see what everyone else at the party got. I was a little worried about a hawk or something snatching the little fella up so do I put him back in the aquarium? Nope, instead I put him in one of the safest places I could think of. My bra. 

 

I don’t mean like I squished the poor thing between my boob and the bra. Poor fella would suffocate. Instead, I placed him in the little area between the cleave and bra and to be honest, he seemed pretty comfortable there. I mean, who wouldn’t, AM I RIGHT?!!?!? *baddacha!*

The dream gets a little fuzzy after that. All I really remember after that point is checking of Kermie every now and then and then seeing a random horse.

After I woke up I started to wonder about the whole dream. Was it just some off the wall, bat shit crazy dream or was it one of those weird, you’re brain has something to tell you but instead of being up front it tells you secret, Da Vinci Code type codes you have to crack? I asked my all-knowing friend Google about the meaning of frogs in dreams. There were quite a few responses on it.

To see a frog in your dream represents a potential for change or the unexpected. The frog may be a prince in disguise and thus, signify transformation, renewal or rebirth.

Then there was this:

 Alternatively, the frog symbolizes uncleanness or fertility.

 

But then there was this:

Frogs represent blessings, love, and prosperity. If you dream of holding a frog in your hands, it suggests you fondest wish shall come true.

I told a fellow co-worker about the dream and her theory is that the frog is a prince in disguise. She further backed this theory by pointing out there was a second aquarium with a second, similar frog and that maybe, just maybe, the person I’m destined to meet is taking care of the second frog. It’s a cute idea, would be pretty neat if it were true but in the end it was just a dream. Maybe tonight I’ll dream about marrying my long time crush, Ryan Reynolds.

The Day I found Waldo

A few years ago I was in a study abroad program in Wales. As part of the program the first week the coordinators took the group of Americans on a few field trips. One such trip was to a castle and some other place that my mind is currently drawing a blank. What? I just woke up from a nap! Ok, fine…technically it’s the second nap of the day but it’s my day off. LAY OFF ME! Anyway, this is the trip when I discovered him. I FREAKIN’ FOUND WALDO!

I was just minding my own business talking to a friend of mine when I noticed his little red and white hat. Guys, he was even wearing the black hipster glasses.

So this is me getting my picture taken in front of a castle

                                                                               

So, I was just standing there before I had to get back on the bus.

                                                                              

                                                                                  

In his defense, he only looked like Waldo because of the hat and glasses. He wasn't even wearing the striped shirt. I know, you would think that if you're going to be Waldo you would just go all out. We ended up spending the rest of the trip giggling every time we saw him.
                                                                                     

This is what he actually looked like.

The rest of the semester was spent playing a real life Where's Waldo game. Anytime we saw him it would warrant an immediate text or email. It also led to some mild stalking behavior.

                                                                                   

OH MY GOD, WALDO IS BUYING MILK!

                                                                               

WALDO IS GOING TO CLASS!

                                                                              

 

Then one day, it was like God was shining down on the "I Heart Waldo" stalkers club. The school we attended really LOVED to throw theme parties for the students. The first week class was in session they had a "Sex Party" theme which very quickly changed to "Playboy Party" theme. Not really much of a difference but that didn't stop the guy in a gold thong to knock on my window the following morning to ask that I let him in the building. But that's a story for another day.

                                                                        

Usually these parties had some reason (other than a lot of drinking) involved. I think this party was to suppose help fund or bring attention to AIDS research or something like that. Anyway, basically everyone was suppose to dress like Waldo or just wear the t-shirt they were also selling. We all hoped that our resident Waldo would not being wearing the t-shirt. We were all pleasantly surprised when we showed up the club and found that he decided to embrace his Waldo-ness and was dressed like Waldo, complete with cane!

                                                                                   

We were so excited, he couldn't figure out why we kept staring at him.

You know how when you see someone and want to take a picture of them but don't want them to know about it because apparently it's considered "weird" and "creepy?" So, instead you have someone stand kind of in front of you just enough so it looks like you're taking their picture when really you're focusing on your actual object? Yeah, we did that...

                                                                              

 

  

 

 

That's how I spent a semester being a creepy stalker. I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE DOING SO STOP JUDGING ME!

You guys thought I was lying...

                                                                             

IT'S FUCKING WALDO!

 Also, here are some outtakes from when "Chris" and I were shopping for glasses. I was so distraught over the news that he shot me in the eye with a Nerf Bullet just so that I would have the same vision as him that I forgot to add these pictures. Oh, I didn't tell you that? Yeah, "Chris" was all Oooooooh! Now you have the same vision as me! Rat bastard...

                                                                               

                                                                             

One day I'll get my friggin letter...ONE DAY!

                                                                                   

He said we couldn't get matching glasses..