The Unhappiest Place on Earth

When I was 5 or 6 my parents decided to take my brother and I to Disney World. You know, that one place that's also known as the happiest place on earth? That one GIANT amusement park that Walt Disney created so that when people went to it they would feel as if they were in some magical wonderland. That one place that just about every kid on the planet dreams of going. That one place where I was the grumpiest kid. Yeah, you read that right I went to Disney World and I was GRUMPY.

I have no idea why I was so grumpy. To be honest, I didn't realize just how grumpy I was until my brother and I were reminiscing and looking through the "Disney World Rosie Hates Everything" photo album. Fun fact, I was grumpy though out most of my childhood. We have albums upon albums where just about every other picture is me frowning, rolling my eyes or glaring into the camera.

I like to think that maybe I was just an old soul trapped in a 6 year old body. Instead of screaming and rejoicing with my fellow Disney loving age group, I was too busy wishing they would quiet down, wishing the lines for the rides were shorter and that I could get out of the hot sun. While all the happy children were busy bombarding all the Disney characters for pictures and autographs, I was standing to the side, glaring at everyone one of those drooling idiots.

Ah, the most magical place on Earth.....

Nope.

Effing Pluto

Even ice cream couldn't make me happy

Fuck you tea cups

Dumb ass Dumbo ride....

Even surrounded by Disney Princesses, I was still mega ass grumpy

Fuck you Disney World and you're NOT happy happiness crap

 

See, you guys thought I was making this shit up. Also, my brother had this weird thing about kissing the noses of the Disney characters with the plastic faces. So, all of them. We went back a few years later and I tried to make up for all the grumpiness. "OH MY GOD IS THAT GRUMPY THE DWARF?" (oh, the irony) But I was still reminded of that trip where I hated everything.