Tornado

Sorry there hasn’t been a recent update, guys and dolls. I’m trying to piece together my shamblie mess of life right and school has completely taken over. Well, mostly school, a little bit of watching that show Roswell and a smidge of having a daily glaring contest with the white hair that tends to mock me every day I style my hair. You think I’m exaggerating but this white hair that’s just chilling right on the hairline of my forehead is an asshole. It won’t even style with my bangs! Everything looks all nice and put together and this bitch just sticks straight up while screaming, “WHATEVAH, WHATEVAH! I DO WHAT I WANT!”

If you guys follow me on Facebook (if you don’t you should. The link is right over there to your left. No, your other left! LEFT! LEFT! There ya go.) then you may have seen a few updates about a tornado last week. I went to work and the co workers and I were evacuated twice to walk across the parking lot and into the basement of the barracks next door. Yeah, I know it totally makes sense to me too. There’s a tornado but we’re going to need to walk outside and possibly get blown away so you can get to shelter, even though you’re in a building with a perfectly good space to protect yourself that doesn’t smell like ass and feet.  

As we moseyed across the parking lot and into the building we noticed that we would not be the only ones there. There was a large group of military members sitting against wall pretty quietly and we came strolling in laughing and giggling like an obnoxious group of school kids. We didn’t know how long we would be there but I made sure to not only grab my purse but my lunch bag, just in case. Some of us had the local news pulled up on our phones and others (me) were getting text messages from family members (mommy) with updates. Mom kept telling me when there was a tornado touch down and when it was heading in my direction. Our new friends started to pass out MRE’s (Meals Ready to Eat) and as I got mine the little plastic brown bag brought back all kinds of memories of field trips in elementary school.

                                                                 


Co-worker dubbed them, "Man candy" and "Chris" stupid hand.



I am, what is often referred to as, an Army Brat. I grew up with my dad being in the military and all of my friends growing up were in the same situation. Sometimes when we went on field trips our parents would give us an MRE for lunch, instead of the traditional snack pack. What is an MRE you ask? This, my friend, is short for Meal Ready to Eat and it’s not the most appetizing thing, ever. However, on this tornado day, stuck in the smelly basement I took the offer of an MRE because these generally come with candy and this fat girl is all about candy. I was massively disappointed to find that my MRE did not come with M&M’s or Skittles. Instead, it came with these cookie texture wheat crackers and cheese spread with bacon. There was some other stuff but it didn’t matter because damnit, this chick wanted M&M’s.

                                                                  

I was really excited.

After about an hour and a half we were given permission to go back to work. Oh happy day. About 15 minutes after we all signed in the tornado sirens started going off again and naturally we all froze in terror and looked to our boss to see if we had to pack up again. He waited about 20 minutes before giving the ok for us to panic, grab our shit and run across the parking lot, again. We met with our new friends again except this time they were just as obnoxious as we were. They even ordered a pizza, twice! And what’s worse, THEY DIDN’T EVEN SHARE! The second time around we decided to stand by the doors and take pictures. Ok, “Chris” and I weren’t exactly standing by the door as much as we were standing in the middle of the parking lot and staring at the really dark, almost black clouds that were heading in our direction. That’s what we do here in tornado alley, we don’t run for cover, instead we stand outside and take pictures. WELCOME TO OKLAHOMA!