The Biebs

I never understood the whole Justin Bieber obsession. Even when he first came out (haha, totally didn’t intend that) and most of the girls (and some of the dudes, you know who you are) were all fan girling over the 13 year Usher “prodigy.” They were all “Oh my gosh he’s so adorable,” and “oh my gosh, I love his music.” And I was like, “oh my gosh! Shoot me in the face.” It also creeps me out when older women fan girl him considering he still looks about 12, even when he’s walking around without a shirt. He just looks like some 12 year old with spray painted abs. Like the ones that one guy you dated a while back did as a way to impress you but instead it just rubbed off on your clothes. Oh, that wasn’t you? My bad, I guess that happened to someone else I know.

While we’re on this topic of the Biebster and his fashion, can someone please explain to me the whole sagging phenomena?? I mean, this giant toddler has brought sagging to a whole new level. Even as a teenager I never thought the whole walk around with your jeans around your ankles in public look was attractive. One time while I was living in Wales I was with a group of friends waiting at the bus stop to go out for the evening. And by going out for the evening I totally mean go to the library and study. Ok, now that I’ve completely fooled the parentals, if they’re reading this, what I was really doing was going out to the pubs so that I could part take in fun times with booze and friends. Anyway, there was this guy with another group of people (mostly girls) and he was SAGGING! It may have been the booze from the pre gaming but something came over me. I slowly walked towards this idiot with his sagging jeans and colorful underwear, grabbed his pants and pulled those bitches down! And everyone at the bus stop laughed at his Sponge Bob underwear. I don’t know why he suddenly felt so modest; we all practically saw his underwear already.

 

Who finds this attractive?!! And WHY!?!?

BACK TO THE BIEBSTER! He looks like a 12 year old wearing a poopie diaper and girls think this is attractive? Oh, and let’s not forget this is a genius who snuck his pet monkey on a transatlantic flight and was totes surprised when German officials were like, “umm, got documents of this monkey? No, well, we’re going to quarantine it for a while because it could be carrying the rage virus like the monkey from 28 Days Later.” Let’s also not forget his latest comment about Anne Frank. Haven’t heard this one yet?

So, the Biebs is currently in the Netherlands as he has a concert there or something coming up and decides to take a tour of the Anne Frank house. And when I mean he decides to take a tour I mean that his security clears the entire place so he can walk around (monkeyless) without other tourists all up in his biz. He then leaves this gem of a comment in the guest book:

"Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber."

I personally think she would be a One Direction fan. At least they don’t wear sagging skinny jeans.

On a completely unrelated note, my thoughts and prayers are with those that were affected by the Boston Marathon explosions.



Oh Mr. Rogers.