Opposite Day

Therapist asked that before my next session with her she wanted me to read a chapter from a book about depression and also participate in what she called “opposite day.” Do you have that perplexed look on your face as well? Yeah, so did I when she brought it up. I honestly had no idea what she meant by opposite day. As she explained it, it seemed more like a game except I would be the only one playing and there was no prize at the end. Well, if you include being thoroughly embarrassed a prize then YAY I’M A WINNER!

Basically, opposite day was a day out of the week of my choosing. I was still a tiny bit confused and she asked if I was a lefty or righty. I told her righty and she said for the whole I was to use my left hand for EVERYTHING. Brushing my teeth, petting my dogs, throat punching assholes…you know the normal stuff I do on the weekend, except it would be done with my non dominate left hand. As therapist explained this would be an activity to get myself out of my head and focus my energy and attention on something else.

I told my mom about it and that I decided Saturday would be my opposite day and then told her how awkward being in public would probably be. She, being the sly fox that is she, waited about 10 minutes and then said her and I should go out for breakfast since I was off Saturday. Did I make the connection? Nope, not until a few minutes later and figured, eh, it’ll be entertaining to eat pancakes with good old lefty.

When I told “Chris” about opposite day he said I should take a step further and wear a dress (since I’m a jeans and Chuck Taylors kind of lady). Mom ended up canceling breakfast plans because of an emergency with her bestie but then my bestie stepped in and we made plans for shopping, dinner and a movie.

Everything took twice as long for me to complete. Brushing my teeth with left hand was a comedy routine all in it self. I think brushed my entire face before getting to even one tooth. After about 15 minutes I gave up and used right hand because my teeth just did not feel clean at all. Then I decided since I have straight hair I was going to go for big curly hair. What normally takes me 30 minutes to accomplish took a lovely an hour and a half and several “I’M HUNGRY, WANT FOOD!” texts from the bestie. I refused to do my make up with left hand. There was just no way I was going out in public looking like I had done my make up while driving down a bumpy road.

The remainder of the day went pretty smooth. The big hair turned out pretty adorable but do you know how I know opposite day was a total success? This lady wore her underroos backwards, on accident. And do you know how long it took me to realize that my panties were on backwards? At the end of the day.   

akwaaaaaaaaaaaard.