Scouts Honor

I bet you didn't know this but I was totes a girl scout. Yeah, you read that right, I rocked that nerdy green uniform and everything...for about two whole weeks. That's about how long it took me to realize that the scouts wasn't really for me and I'm sure my mom was tired of all the damn fundraisers and bake sales she had to take me to.

 I know the goal of the scouts is to empower young girls to be smart, independent women, learn useful skills that will follow them throughout their lives and to peddle cookies. I'm sure my mom had the best intentions when she signed me up but then again I'm sure she did it mostly because of this:

 

And this:

 

And of course, this:

 

 

 It may have just been the troop I was assigned to but it didn't really feel like a fun group of girls. Instead, it felt more like a clique of girls who weren't fond of outsiders joining. Don't get me wrong, at first they were pretty stoked about a new member.

But then the novelty wore off and they went back to their separate groups to talk about the new girl and to talk about each other. 

 

The moms weren't much different but the girls had to learn from some where.

Not to mention I thought we would do more cool stuff like learn about outer space, learn how to read a map and use a compass and play with Ninja Turtles. Instead, it was bake sales, learning how to wrap gifts and sit in a smelly room and talk about camping.

 

Thus, ended my two week career as a girl scout. I ditched that nerdy uniform and went back to more important things. Ninja Turtles. 

 

Also, have you liked this super awesome blogs Facebook page? If the answer is no well, you're breakin' my balls! So, just click on this little linkie riiiiiiiight here and hit the like button home fries!

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR, ASSHATS!

I know this is complete bananas. Two posts back to back!??! MADNESS! I was going to add this to the last post but it didn't flow right so I gave it it's own post. Anywho.

2012 has been a year that I'm not sure I can completely describe. It was strange, wonderful, fantastic, stressful and insane all in one. I quit a job that I completely hated and enjoyed being unemployed for about a week. So did my mom and step dad since they came home every night to a home cooked dinner. After week one I became worried about money and week three I got a job offer. My beautiful niece was born and so was my desire to crochet all cute things for her. I went back to school and remembered how stressful it is. Jessica Simpson finally gave birth after about 20 month gestation period and now Kim Kardashian is carrying the obnoxious spawn of Kayne West (I ain't saying she a gold digga).

And now here we are, the eve of 2013 and wondering what this year holds. So far the boys and I are going to hold strong to our resolution to put down the doughnuts and cookies and start getting rid of this weight we all mysteriously gained. I say getting rid of instead of losing weight because I really don't want to find it once it's gone. So far the plan is to exercise more and completely cut out fast food. "Chris" and I also devised a competition to help us get rid of the fat. We're going to put $10 in a jar once a week and at the end of the month, whoever lost the most weight gets the monies. I'M GETTING THAT MONEY.

Also, I'm sure you've noticed lately that I've mentioned a giveaway that is coming up. Guess what? I'm going to FINALLY tell you about it. I know, I know...you're totally like IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME. So here it goes. As my thank you to all my fantastic readers I'm going to give away an exact replica of the Nerf gun that "Chris" used when he shot me in the eye with the bullet (my eye totally just twitched). I'm not sure how I feel about arming someone else with the same Nerf gun that caused such a traumatic event in my life. Oh well. Also, "Chris" is also going to sign it too! Yeah! The giveaway will start when this baby hits 1000 readers. (Did anyone else just get the image of an actual baby hitting 1000 people reading books? No, ok well. Whatever, that image made me laugh). Once we get 1000 readers (and don't do that cheating thing where you just click on this a bunch of times...I GOT MY EYES ON YOU!) I'll post the rules. Don't worry, it's going to super easy and this is open to EVERYONE!

Correction...we're at 945 reads!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now imagine Oprah saying, "You can participate, YOU can participate, everyone gets to PAAAAARTICIPAAAAAATE!"

                                                                                         
**P.S. I've noticed there are readers in Greece, Puerto Rico and other random countries and I just want to say...HI!!!! Who are you guys?!? Also, if you want to win a free autographed Nerf gun you totally can!