The Liebster Award

Guys, you are now reading the blog of an award winner. Yeah, you got that right AN AWARD WINNER! Don’t worry, I’m not going to become an egomaniac or anything but just know that I will hence forth be known as Rosie Award Winning Blog Owner Billings. Hold on a moment while I adjust my monocle and top hat.

OK, fine. The Liebster Award is kind of like a Tag You’re It kind of award for bloggers with less than 200 followers. A blogger tags you, you answer their questions, create some of your own and then tag 11 other bloggers. If you want a way better description of the Liebster Award (My Dearest Award for my fellow German peeps) you can check out this lovely blog right. Over. Here. I’ve been given The Liebster Award twice. The first time I had no idea what I was so suppose to do, spazzed out, said thanks and forgot about it. This time though…This time I got it figured out. So in fairness I’m giving credit to two of the coolest chicks in the blogosphere, so click on Tea for Unsweetened Tea and Michelle for the Girly Gamer and check out their blogs. Now. It’s ok, I’ll wait for you.

So the only problem is, sorry I decided to continue on without you, is that I don’t know many other bloggers. The two I usually converse with are the two that nominated me so well, this leaves us in a bit of a pickle. So I'm tagging Jody Beth at Jody Chic because she's got some AMAZING and adorable outfits. I need more blogger friends.

Rules of the Liebster Award:

1. List 11 facts about yourself.

2. Answer the 11 questions given to you.

3. Ask 11 new questions for the bloggers you nominate for the award.

4. Choose 11 bloggers with 200 or less followers to nominate.

5. Go to each blogger’s page and let them know about the award.

6. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog

7. No track backs

11 Random Facts

1. I like Glee. Except for Rachel Berry, she makes me want to steal candy from babies and not help old people cross the street.  

2. I get distracted by huge boobs and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing since I am also a busty chick. Example: One time at the Casino, “Chris” and I were playing the virtual Black Jack machine and I missed a few bets because I couldn’t stop staring at the computerized dealers computerized fake boobs. Also, she was pretending to flirt with imaginary people behind me and that was kind of funny to watch and irritating because the attention should always be on me.

3. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like a day in the life of my cat. I don’t mean like, nap, scratch the couch, and annoy the dogs. I mean as in what she’s thinking about when she’s sitting in front of a wall and just staring at it or when she’s walking in circles down the hallway.  

4. I’m really not that interesting.  

5. I got drunk when I was 11. It’s a really embarrassing story that involves me, the Catholic Church and mimosas. My dad LOVES telling this story to just about anyone and that's all that I will say about that.

6. I like to do funny voices, especially when I’ve been drinking. Although, there are times like at the casino. There’s a Betty Boop game that “Chris” and I discovered and now he glares at me when I say, “You found my treshah chest!” in that Betty Boop voice.

7. I fall asleep when texting people. I don’t mean like I have narcolepsy, I mean as in I’m tired but too polite to say, “Bitch, let me sleep!” Instead, I kind of just stop talking in mid conversation and wake up to a few “Hello? Did you face plant the pillow?” texts.

8. I use Twitter to stalk celebrities. Not really much stalking I can do from Oklahoma though…we don’t get many celebrities ‘round these parts. Except last year when Johnny Depp came to visit and everyone that wanted to stalk him all the sudden got busy. And then a certain friend said she wasn’t going to the parade that was in his honor where he would be but then turns out she did. Let’s all glare for a moment.

9. I REALLY hate Rachel Berry.

10. Sometimes when people tell me they have a certain song stuck in their head I like to sing (or text) lyrics of other songs, thus creating a mash up of multiple songs they can only hear. You’re welcome world.

11. I’m addicted to overly surgary bakery cakes and frosting. I swear it’ll be the death of me and may put me in a diabetic coma one day, but it’ll be worth it.

Questions from Tea:

1. What’s the most recent thing you’ve purchased? A giant bottle of Ginger Ale and We Bought A Zoo on DVD. Don’t judge me.

2. What’s the most important electronic item you own? My flux capacitor. If only I could find a Delorean to put it in.

3. What’s your favorite guilty pleasure TV show? Any of the House Wives of Living Off My Husbands Money and to Make Myself Relevant I Have My Own Clothing Line, Book and Single Coming Out shows.  

4. Which book are you currently loving? None, I’m stuck reading textbooks and HATE THEM ALL.

5. Best piece of advice you’ve ever been given? My dad gave me the best advice when I started college. Along with the you’ll be great and take your time figuring out what you want to be (ha, I beat he’s eating those words right now…) he also told me, “Watch out for college boys, they’re only after one thing.” When I asked what that one thing was after a brief awkward moment he said, “Money.”

6. Pop up toaster or toaster oven? Pop up toaster, that shit is instant and I live in ‘Murica where crap needs to be done right now.  

7. Have you ever had or wanted a non-traditional pet? I had a gecko. I changed his names several times from Reptar to Godzilla. He screamed when I fed him too many live crickets and my mom hated him. She loved my brothers stupid turtle. Ertle the turtle got a graveside burial with a tiny American flag when he died. Reptar/Godzilla got a Walmart bag and was tossed in the trash can. I’m not bitter or anything.

8. How do you take your coffee? With a crap ton of flavor and whipped cream, basically the part of the coffee that I want in my drink is the caffeine.

9. Which movie villain would you be for a day, and why? Mystique from X-Men. Come on, to have the ability to change what you look like just by thinking about it would be AWESOME. I would go to Sam’s Club, get a free sample, run behind something, change and go back for more samples. If we had a Trader Joe’s you can bet your ass I would do that trick with the free booze samples they give out.

10. Chinese or Mexican? (I’m hungry and trying to decide which leftovers I want for lunch. No, I don’t have either in my fridge, but I’m pretending I do.) Chinese, eggrolls are the bomb.com.

11. Which post from your blog are you most proud of, and why? Nerf Gun Etiquette. I had been tossing around the idea of starting a blog but didn’t think I had any funny material to entertain the world with. Then “Chris” shot me square in the eyeball with a Nerf bullet and history was made.

11 New Questions

1) Will you bake me a batch of chocolate chip cookies?

2) Do you think I can pull off red cowboy boots?

3) If you could be any animal what would you be and why?

4) If you were a professional wrestler, what song would you play as you walked into the ring?

5) Where do babies come from?

6) What is your proudest moment? (see, I’m not a complete weirdo).

7) What do you do to cheer yourself up?

8) Do you think a vanilla milkshake is boring?

9) Would you ever shoot me in the eyeball with a Nerf bullet?

10) What is your ideal job?

11) If you could travel ANY WHERE in the world, where would you go and what would you do once you where there?

In conclusion, thank you Tea and Michelle for the award. I really appreciate that off all the people you thought of me. It really means a lot.

Seriously, thank you.

Merry Christmas, Home Skillets

I haven’t really felt like being in the Christmas spirit lately. I guess that’s why it kind of crept up on me, even though last month I had just about everything planned out. When I say everything, I mean everything, like which day I would spend crocheting to when I would go shopping. And do you want to know where that mega organized calendar currently is? It’s in the deepest, darkest depth of my purse. I swear that thing is like Mary Poppins bag and one of these days while I’m digging around in there for spare change I’m going to pull out an area rug and a tall lamp. For my sake, I hope they match each other. But knowing me they’ll be two mismatched Goodwill finds, story of my life.

Technically, it is now Christmas Eve and I’m pretty sure that I have everyone from my gift list crossed off. If I didn’t get you something just think of my witty misfortunes that I post on here for you to read as my gift to you. Like the time that “Chris” shot me in the eye with a Nerf bullet. My eye still twitches from time to time, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I spent the entire day in the kitchen today. Keep your women belong in the kitchen jokes to yourself or the next time you ask for a sandwich it’ll be a knuckle sandwich. I decided for my work peeps I would make cake balls and put them in little individual baggies and pass them out on Christmas day. My thought process was that since these are cake balls it wouldn’t take that long to make them. THEREFORE I SHOULD MAKE 3 BATCHES OF THEM! I. Am. An. Idiot. Baking the actual cakes was pretty quick. It was when I realized that I had to crumble each cake, moosh it all together with some frosting, form little balls, stick them in the freezer for about 2 hours and then cover in chocolate that I thought, hm…this is a bigger project than what I anticipated. Also, mid-way through that thought I realized I had to bake sugar cookies for a co-worker AND THEN I volunteered to bake a second batch of sugar cookie dough for my brother. One day I’ll learn that I already enough stuff going on to say no or just not volunteer.

I’ve been watching Christmas movies to try to get myself in the Christmas spirit and for some reason The Santa Clause is bringing up some old childhood issues. To be honest, I don’t even know what feelings it’s bringing up but I’ve become completely obsessed with this movie. I’m like that annoying kid that the moment a movie ends, I excitedly shout “AGAIN! AGAIN!” And then throw a fit when you’re all, “OH MAH GAWD WE’VE SEEN THIS ABOUT A ZILLION TIMES ALREADY!” In the end, I win because I have those big, blue sad puppy dog eyes (also ignore the fact that I just threatened to punch you in the throat). Plus, I totally have a crush on the head elf, Bernard. WHAT? He’s like 900 years old! There is just something about a guy white a New York accent that just drips with sarcasm that makes me think I could totally bear his sarcastic children. Also, this movie makes me wish I could be an elf.

So, before I go off into a story about me being a North Pole elf (because the South Pole ones are mean) I guess I’ll wrap this post up. I hope that each and one of you are enjoying the time you have with your families. I know that I’ve said this before but I truly thought only three people (because my cat is rude and thinks my blog is LAME) would only read the ramblings of a clutzy spaz. This blog is no means viral but every day when I check for messages and see how many views this little fella has gotten I’m completely surprised. I’m still not ready to reveal the upcoming give away I have planned but thank you. I’m glad that I can provide some kind of mild entertainment for those of you that keep coming back.

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals. 

Please refer to me as Jolly Monkey Buns from now on.