I know that we shouldn’t have but really there were no other options. Well, there were but if I told you that it would ruin the story. We were starving, neither of us had eaten today and the thought of eating anything that was deep fried and smothered in oil and grease made me want to hurl the nothing contents from my tummy. So, we did it. “Chris” and I placed another order from THEM. (Click here if you haven't heard the first story).
We hadn’t had anything to eat ALL day so our foggy brains weren’t thinking clearly. I even put aside the little dispute from last time all the while thinking, I’ll be nice today, no passive aggressive notes because I just want a damn sammich. The order was placed and little did we know, those assholes were prepping for the war. Instead of us writhing about the floor with hunger pains we instead spent the waiting time sadly looking at each other until my phone went off.
With excitement and a happy pep in my step I got our food and anxiously opened the bags and that’s when I made the discovery of epic proportions. OLIVES! OLIVES EVERY WHERE! Not just one little measly olive hidden under a bed of lettuce but a fucking shit ton of them in my side salad and when I opened the container I swear to you three of them jumped out in a failed attempt to attack me. They used a tiny piece of a bell pepper as a shield and I even heard a tiny “KILL THE WITCH!”
“Chris” opened his box to find that they cut his bread and assembled his sandwich as if it were a hot dog. Also, for some reason the pickles, glob of mayo and 2 olives (he likes them…ick) were all shoved to one side of the sandwich. Mine was just a mess of lettuce and mayo to the point where “Chris” couldn’t tell what sandwich I had got. We then checked the temperature of the chocolate chip cookies and wouldn’t you know, they were god damn cold. Like arctic below freezing cold. Ok, maybe they were actually at slightly below room temperature but they had spoiled us before with soft, warm cookies these may have just been ice cookies.
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| Here's the evidence that I politely declined the offer of olives. |
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| Look at them. Just sitting there like they own the place. |
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| If you tilt your head to the rght you can see it's face. Also, there's a frozen cookie in the corner. You can SEE how frozen it is. |
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| I didn't realize how gross this looked until AFTER I ate it. What? I was hungry! |
I bet you guys are really curious about who we are waging this war against aren’t you? Oh, stop begging I’ll tell you. And if you want you should totally place an order and be a complete dick about it too.
Pizza Time
580-248-0008
The war has begun.
