Running With Zombies

I've always wanted to be that one girl at the park that runs all casually like it's nothing. Or that girl at the gym that's running on the treadmill on level 10, incline 4000 and speed 60 kajillion while she flips through Cosmo magazine and texts all at once. I hate that bitch but mostly because I can barely last 5 minutes on the ARC machine, only to get my foot stuck in the pedal and creating  this awkward scene at the gym.

Unfortunately, I've always been insecure about my body and never tried running or jogging. Despite what "Chris" said about me when I was apparently "running" from him inside WalMart the other night. I WAS WALKING! Just a little quicker than usual...

Anyway, "Chris" and I decided to try the couch to 5k workout since it's a workout that gradually gets your ass running. Needless to say, I whimped out on the running portion our first day at the park. Which looked a little something like this:

 

 

 

I died a little.

That night at work "Chris" found out about this app called Zombies, Run! I had heard about it years ago but completely forgot about it. Basically, it's an app that, like Couch to 5k, helps you gradually get into the running process. The difference is that this app uses zombies coming after your ass as a motivator. It's a pretty cool little app. It has this story line where you're in a helicopter crash and you some how find your way to Abel Township. However, Dr. Mary ( I can't remember her name) is a massive biotch who tells you if you're not able to bring back medical supplies from the abandoned hospital they may not be able to let you into the township. Oh, Dr. Mary, you just wait until I get you alone...OH NO! She had a bite mark on her arm so I killed her. Yeah, take THAT Dr. Mary.  

 So, as you're walking the story plays out until someone yells, "RUN!" Then another voice tells you that zombies are x amount of km away. You actually hear the zombies and the closer they are, the louder they are in your headset. So while it felt like this was happening:

 

It was really more like this:

That's a leery prairie dog..

 The other fun part of this game is that it gives you missions to complete. Basically you have to find crap or Dr. Mary-I'm-A-Total-Dickbag won't let you back into the township. To be honest, some of these items are completely random. 

 

"Chris" found a baseball bat while I found underwear...

I also found about 3 pairs of trousers, a pair of shorts and at least a billion sports bras.

While "Chris" kept finding all the important stuff like 1st aid kits and weapons.

We're still trying to figure out how the game knew I needed sports bras. That's another thing that keeps me from running. The fear that I'll knock myself unconscious with my boobs because, well, I'm quite..."busty." Want to know about other random things I collected while avoiding zombie hoards?

Random Shit I Found

• Multiple bottles of water
• 5 cell phones
• Power cable
• 6 First aid kits (see, I wasn't totally useless!)
• Kensaido manifesto (whoever that is..)
• Bandages (to smother the good doctor with..)
• Axe
• Pain meds
• CDC box
• Tinned food (not sure if that came with a can opener..)
• Shorts
• 3 Pairs of trousers
• 8 Sports bras
• 2 Pairs of underwear
• Baseball bat
• A book 

 So far Zombies, Run! is a pretty useful tool for exercise seeing as how I'm excited to try out the next level called, "Lay of the Land." Maybe I'll run longer than 30 seconds.

Also, after years and years and years of rumors that we would be getting a Target, my town FINALLY got one. The typo in the headline is the reason Lawton can't have nice things.

 

Ham Saturday

My brother and I have created a new holiday and we have named it, Ham Saturday. It falls on the Saturday right after Easter and it usually happens because ham dinner was not served on Easter Sunday. Basically, we just wanted some ham so we came up with an elaborate holiday.

When I woke up Easter Sunday I zombie walked into the kitchen to get some water and noticed the crock pot was in use. Did I bother peeking inside said crock pot to confirm what was cooking? Nope, just grabbed a bottle of water, glared at the dog that barking outside and went back to my room to crawl under the covers again. Eventually I woke up and zombie walked (again) to the kitchen to get some food but became distracted by the Easter basket my mom made. Yes, I’m 27 and my mom still makes me an Easter basket. Haters, to the left please.  

Cut to me sitting on my bed, disheveled looking and taking inventory of my goodies. As I started to eat the ears from the chocolate bunny (I know, you’re suppose to eat the whole head so you don’t hear it scream) the smell of ham wafted into my room. Naturally, I assumed ham was cooking in the crock pot so I immediately texted my brother, “Ham!!!!!!!!” He then replied, “On my way!!!!!!” In case you haven’t noticed, we like ham.

I was still in my room devouring the chocolate bunny when my brother came to the house, made a bee line to the kitchen and discovered that I was mistaken about the contents of the crock pot. He came into my room with a bowl in his hands and said that the white bean soup was pretty good but there was no ham in the kitchen. What I believe may have happened was that I had my windows open and the smell of a neighbors Easter Dinner drifted slowly and seductively into my room. Baby brother left and in my fit of irritation I just pulled the covers over myself and watched TV until I fell asleep.

And that, dear readers, is why we celebrate Ham Saturday.

Ham Saturday is a formal affiar

Even Sven was waiting on Ham Saturday



I meant to take a picture of my plate with ham and all the sides. I ate it before I realized I wanted a picture.
So here's a picture of a side ways half eaten ham.

Also, guys, do you know what today is? It's "Seans" birthday!!!!!! Happy birthday you oldie!

That my friends is a chocolate and Bailey's Irish Cream cake that I made from scratch.

I know you guys have been dying for a picture of "Sean." It's pretty legit.