A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

Dreams have always been something that interested me. You close your eyes and fall into this magical wonder land where you can sprout wings and fly, become a super hero with the ability to change into anything, or if you’re like me you just have that falling dream that results in random and spastic arm and leg twitches. Then there’s “Sean” and his most recent dream.

He started the conversation by saying, “You won’t believe this dream I had.” I, naturally assumed the next few words out of his mouth would be that it was funny or strange. Nope, instead he told me that he had a dream that he switched cell phone carriers. Yes, my dear interweb friends, you have read that correctly, just an ordinary dream where he switched from Sprint to Verizon. This was quickly followed by a “What?” and a stare of “You got to be kitten me, meow.” He then went on to say that in order for him to successfully change companies he would have to fight (mortal combat style) the worlds toughest 10 men. Apparently, dream “Sean” was bad ass enough to complete the task.

This is also the same guy who had a dream that his first born would also be the beginning of the zombie apocalypse. According to THAT dream, the world is only allowed to have so many human beings living on it that when it reaches a certain number a toxin is released and turns everyone into zombies. So when the zombie apocalypse starts we can all blame “Sean” and his first born. Also, this first born is apparently the cure for the apocalypse. I can’t remember how this child saves humanity (something about the salvia I think?) so for now we’ll all just roll our eyes in disbelief and hold our breath for the day this child dooms us all.

Just a quick update on Project Pretend to be a Skinny Blonde with a Duck Face on Craigslist, so I’m still getting messages from these fellows stating they saw Duck Face at Wal-mart. Normally, I delete them but I felt this urge to share the latest gem that fell into my inbox.

“Hey…it’s me…Love to meet you ! I can be generous and you will love it. Very versatile and experienced…Massages, money for shopping, dine out at fancy restaurants…Holla back honey boo!”

He had me at Honey boo…*swoooooooooooon*

What about your dreams? Anything zombie related or having to switch phone carriers?

The Craigslist Experiment

I’m not sure about you guys but sometimes when I’m bored I like to peruse the almighty Craigslist. My absolute favorite section is Missed Connections. This is the section where someone makes two second eye contact with someone else and then wishes they had the courage to have said Hi! Usually it’s something along the lines of “Oh my gosh! I totally saw you at red light and you were like in a red Camaro and I was like all smiley and stuff. I totally saw our future together when you made eye contact with me and then the light turned green and you zoomed out of my life! E-mail me and tell me what color the dream catcher hanging off my mirror was!” Sometimes they attach a picture of themselves, other times it’s just a crap ton of smiley faces.

Curiosity got the best of me and I decided to post to a fake missed connection ad on Craigslist. Just to see what kind of responses, and although it’s only been two days I’m incredibly surprised that I have not gotten one wang picture. That’s surprise not disappointment you sickos. To really make sure I got some responses I found a picture (that I found on Google) of a random blonde chick sporting the oh so adorable duck face.

(Click on the link below to see the fake add)

 http://lawton.craigslist.org/mis/3432581035.html

As you can see, she may not be the brightest but at least she’s pretty. Ignore the random bobby pin in her hair; she was busy perfecting the subtle duck face to notice it. Let’s also ignore that she points out this mystery man was also with another woman, she still seems like a sweet heart who loves ! and smiley faces (and the occasional sad face).

So, on to our results! In a span of two days our little friend got 14 replies. Out of those 14 we got 6 replied with pictures, 9 that said he was the guy and provided a color of the flower headband (blue was the most popular color, followed by pink and red), 4 admitted they weren’t the guy but wished they were and 1 one was from out of state but was more than willing to visit. And NONE  of them acknowledged they were with another woman. Here are some memorable quotes from this little experiment.

“Hey cutie, I’m not the dude but I’m a hot dude from Colorado that can go to Wallmart.”

(That’s not a typo…that’s how he spelled Wal-mart) 

“I don’t remember the color but I remember that you can text me.”

(He then provided his phone number)

“Hey there, how r u hit me baq if u wanna chat.”

(Can I hit you back with a dictionary?)

“Blue”

(Yep, that was the whole message. Also, the answer was incorrect. The correct answer was non-existent)

“Could swear I saw u there babe not sure I’m the guy u saw but I’m better.”

(No, no you’re not. Also, I’m not much a grammar Nazi but holy Jesus, use some punctuation)

“U wanna chat?”

 

Then one guy proceeded to tell me his stats (age, weight, height) and that even though he was born with two different eye colors he can still see perfectly with them.

In conclusion, this may have been an experiment in Craigslist but considering these lovely bachelors reside in this area I think I’m going to remain single for a long time.